Idiot's Gambit
by Karakuri1925
Summary: Matt is a sniper for a crime syndicate known as "The Corps". His code name is "Paradox". His target is a blonde named Mello. Matt just wants to get his job done. Why is there a troublesome blonde getting in his way? But when something happens to Matt, can his syndicate-family get him out of harm's way? Rated T for swearing and blood/violence
1. Chapter 1: I'm Done For

_**Warnings: Matt being Matt, which should be enough, but there's swearing. A lot of it.**_

_**Don't get involved. The only path of your target is to be shot by you. Feelings don't belong on the battlefield, Mail. Don't get emotionally involved with your target. Emotions will just complicate your mission. The only purpose your target has is to one day be taken down by you. **__Thanks, dad. Your advice is absolutely and irrevocably helpful for me. Easier said than done, asshole._ I thought as I lined up my sights. I had gotten involved in what The Corps called 'the Idiot's Gambit'. Basically, I had gotten involved in an argument with my predecessor's advice. Which made no sense, but I didn't care and neither did anyone else. My scope was aimed on the blonde, my finger just about to pull the trigger-

"Mister, what are you going to do with your rifle?"

I kept my mouth shut. _Don't respond. It's just a child. The child is not your target. Your target is the blonde. Get focused, dumbass!_ I fired the shot, missed the vitals, and swore. I hit the blonde in the shoulder. Oh well, I'd have to try again another day. The idiot child who distracted me had run off. _Shit! I'm really in for it this time. I honestly cannot deal with this anymore. These eyes have seen enough blood for a lifetime._

"Paradox, don't tell me you screwed up again! The master's going to kill you!" I heard the second I got inside.

"Sharpshooter, if it weren't for some damn kid that fucking blonde would be on the ground, waiting for death. But there was a child and I got distracted, so you can fucking deal with it!" I snapped.

I had a headache and I really didn't have time to deal with this shit. Sharpshooter was really starting to get on my nerves. I mean, he was my successor, but did he have to be so annoying? _Can't I just put a bullet in his brain and get a new one? Is that how this works?_ I felt two arms loop around mine and pull me forward. _Wonder what my punishment is this time?_ A round of bullets was emptied into my shoulder, and two bullets landed in my knees. I felt my kneecaps snap and I would've fallen over had it not been for the arms supporting me.

"Take the idiot to be treated. Oh, and Paradox? Don't try to run, because you can't. And don't fuck up again, or I'll break more than your knees."

I felt myself being dragged into my room. The bullets were painfully removed and Sharpshooter was waiting for me to move. I didn't. I decided to be the epitome of a poker face. My goggles were unharmed, thank god. Sharp was waiting for me still.

"C'mon, Paradox, you have to move. There's food ready and they said you have to get up to get it."

"Then I don't want any damn food, Sharp!" I seriously didn't want to move.

Sharp leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Word on the street is that you actually did hit your target."

"I missed their head. Got the shoulder."

"A hit's a hit. Better than missing completely, right? If you're lucky, the bastard will die and you can move on with your life."

"S'different for you. You just point and throw your knife. You don't see the final product. I get to see brains explode through my quick-scope. It's actually quite entertaining."

"Hey, 'Dox?"

"Yeah?"

"You're twisted. Like seriously, that's disgusting."

"Once you've been a sniper as long as I have, your sense of humor gets seriously sick and twisted."

I rolled onto my hands and tried to walk on them to dinner. I gave up and just flopped over. Sharp picked me up, even though he was probably going to get beaten for it later, and carried me to dinner.

"Hey, Paradox! Heard you got your knees knocked pretty damn bad!"

"I'm not walking for a while, Clubs."

"Didn't think so! You hit your target, at least?"

"Their brains didn't end up painted all on the walls, but I hit them."

I ate my dinner one-handed, which was a feat to be spoken of simply because dinner was a chicken-and-rice make-it-yourself taco. Clubs gave me a hand and held my plate still.

"Trigger finger or-"

"I fucked up pretty damn bad, Clubs. I've got to get out of here."

"Hey man, if the Master hears you saying that-"

"My ass is as good as handed to me on a platter already, Clubs. I'm as good as dead."

"How can you tell, Paradox? You aren't even thirty, are you?"

"Nope, but I've been in this business to know when I'm fucked. And I'm pretty damn screwed."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Since I was eight. I'm twenty-three now, Clubs. That's fifteen years. I'm done for. Kaput. Up the creek without a paddle. I hit my target in the _shoulder_ and this is my punishment. Imagine what would've happened if I missed."

"You'd probably be dead if you missed, bro. Is it true, though, what they say? That once the Master's done with you, you're as good as dead?"

"Ah shit, I didn't think about that when I signed up. I only thought about taking care of Violin, and look how that turned out. She's dead and I'm still stuck here."

Clubs laughed and clapped my uninjured shoulder. My rifle was still slung over my injured one. I laughed with him and enjoyed what was probably my last meal. I could see it in Clubs' eyes that he knew I was dead. I had another target to get rid of, and I sure as shit couldn't do that with my kneecaps so busted I couldn't walk. Sharp helped me limp back to my bed and I just sat there.

"Sharp, you might be stuck here sooner than you think. You can still get out, bro. I'm as good as dead. I got a job I need to get done, and it's not happening with my knees as busted up as they are."

"No, Paradox. You can't die on me! I still don't know everything I need to! I'm too green, and you're too young-"

"If age mattered, I wouldn't be here. I'd be at college, like a respectable twenty-three year old. I'd never have learned how to shoot a sniper rifle at the age of eight. My little sister wouldn't be dead and I wouldn't be here."

Sharp just looked shocked. He set my kneecaps again and bound them so tightly it hurt. My shoulder was still bleeding with I fell asleep, and I woke up to hospital machinery. Although, the ceiling was the same. I was still in the Corps building. Sharp was staring out of one of the blackout windows, his handgun taken apart and soaking to get the blood off of it. I smiled at my apprentice. He was doing well, even for an insufferable idiot. His black eyes were only accentuated by his white hair, and-

No. I couldn't get side tracked. I had a mission to do. I started to get up, when a hand suddenly appeared on my chest. _Oh shit. This is-_

"You aren't going anywhere, Paradox. That much is obvious. Perhaps this time you'll actually listen and not fail your mission. Oh, that's been put off for a few weeks due to your recent failure. Perhaps you should think about your target, not some child who means nothing."

"I got distracted. It won't happen again."

"It had better not, or else your punishment will be worse than broken kneecaps and the equivalent to what your target received. And you're obviously not dying, so I have to clean up your mess."

"Sorry, sir. It won't happen again, sir."

He turned on his heel and left, his auburn hair bobbing out of sight. I breathed out tension I didn't know I had. Sharp's eyes had been drawn to my bandaged-but-otherwise-bare chest. Actually, he was staring at the alarming amount of blood seeping through said bandages. I heard him call for help before little red spots flashed in my vision and I fell into unconsciousness. When I woke up, Clubs was watching over me and Sharp was gone.

"Where the hell is Sharp?"

"He's off on a mission. I know, I know, he's not supposed to be on missions without a seasoned Corps member. Fox is with him. They're cleaning up your mess. You know, trying to find the kid that distracted you so it doesn't happen again."

_You're the cause for a young child's death. Why does that bother you so much? You're a cold-hearted killer. You don't matter._ For once, I didn't have an answer for the idiotic questions in my head.

"It's strange, we kill without a second thought. But Sharp, he can't do that. I hear him praying at night, Clubs. He's not cut out for this."

"None of us are really cold-hearted murderers like the master wants. We're all just useless."

"And nobody gets out unless they're 'released'. Looks like I'm screwed."

"Well, maybe the jackass has a use for you. Or maybe you're just so useless it's hilarious having you around. I don't know, I'm not fucking Einstein. I kill when I have to. I pray to whatever the hell's up there later for salvation so I can still be buried a good man."

"You can still be buried as one? That's terrifying."

Clubs laughed and I laughed with him.

"I know, shocking, isn't it?"

"It's absolutely horrifying."

Fox wasn't due back for another three days. So, when she came rushing in, holding a blood-covered Sharp, I naturally flipped all kinds of shit. Sharp was my responsibility, my only family. Well, Fox was like a sister, but she wasn't Violin. Violin's name was Linda. She was like my little sister. We were two street kids looking to get out of the slums. I got out. Linda died trying. I didn't know Fox's real name. Her brother, Light Yagami, ran the local syndicate. So, of course, all of the fucked-up street kids came running. I met Clubs when I was twelve, and Fox came into the syndicate when she was three. Clubs was her brother. Sharp was her cousin or something. She had tears on her face (she was only nine) and blood all over her. She handed Sharp to Clubs and went to get the blood off of her.

"Fox, would you mind coming here for a second?"

She came over to my bedside.

"What happened, sweetie?"

"We got the job done, b-but Sharp wasn't looking, and he-he got hit by a c-car and there was blood e-everywhere!" More tears streaked her bloody face.

She wasn't cut out for this business. Fox was too kind-hearted, and the kid to kill couldn't have been any older than seven. Clubs was supposed to take care of her, and he did just that. Fox wanted to help him, so when anyone came back broken, she would immediately gravitate towards them and do her best to fix whatever had happened. Honestly, I don't know why she wasn't called Glue or Band-Aid or something like that. It just seemed ridiculous to call a nine-year old Fox, especially since she couldn't lie to anyone. She promised Clubs she wouldn't, and she always told the truth. Her eyes were big and orb-like. Clubs had black hair and red eyes. His back was hunched over, like someone had bent him all out of shape. I think his real name was Lawliet or something starting with L. Sharp's real name was Nathaniel Rivers.

"Fox, come here!" I heard the master yell.

Fox jumped, brushed as much of the blood off of her face as she could, and ran into the meeting room. I heard the master hug her and tell her she did a good job, that God would forgive her for her sins because she was a child. She just thanked him. When he dismissed her, she ran to Clubs. Sharp had several broken ribs, a lot of bruising, and his nose was bleeding like mad. He was also unconscious. I heard a disgustingly sickening cracking noise when she set his nose, and his unconscious screaming when she bound his ribs. She made a face but kept on with her silent work. _Why would you bring her here, Clubs? What the hell is your logic there?_


	2. Chapter 2: Shards

A few days later I could walk a little. Fox was stuck at the base, watching over both Sharp and myself._ Did they… Did they really kill the kid? _I couldn't help but wonder. _Clubs said their mission was to make sure the kid couldn't distract anyone. So maybe it was a relocation mission? _I really shouldn't have been worrying about that. I had bigger fish to fry and I had to save my own ass before I worried about some dumb child. Honestly, I just couldn't keep up with all of the information being thrown my way. Fox's birthday was coming up, and the Master wanted a huge party thrown in her honor or something. Fox said that for her, a huge party was a really big cake and everyone just sitting around like a family. She didn't want anything, so I gave her one of my old switchblades. It had 'Swift like a Fox' carved into the handle, and it wasn't one of the crap ones from the store around the corner. I gave Fox my best switchblade.

Clubs just stared out the blackout window. He had already given Fox her present- he had made the giant cake that now sat on a table in the center of the room. Fox cut into it with the switchblade and smiled. Underneath the chocolate ice cream was chocolate cake. I didn't want to get out of my chair (I wasn't even supposed to be in the chair, but nobody told me to move), and since I didn't like cake, it didn't matter. Fox sat on the floor next to me.

"You seemed lonely, 'Dox!"

"That's cute, you're Fox and 'Dox. Didn't even realize that!" Sharp laughed, gingerly sitting in his chair.

"Shut it."

"Paradox, there's a blonde guy here to see you!" I heard Clubs shout.

"Shit. That's probably my target. How the hell did he know?"

"I don't know, but he's going to be even more pissed off if you don't go talk to him."

I sighed, leaned up against the wall, and slowly made my way down the hall. There was blood soaking through the front of my jeans when I got to the front door.

"Are you Mail Jeevas?"

"Call me Paradox. What of it?"

"I'm Mihael Keehl, the guy you shot in the shoulder. I just wanted to say thanks for not killing me. I appreciate it."

"If it were up to me, you'd be dead. But some kid interfered. I didn't miss your head out of consideration. I missed because I got distracted. So if you think you're safe, you're not. Nobody is."

I almost fell over and Clubs looped his arm under my shoulders.

"What happened?"

"I missed. This is what happens when I miss. This is a tough life, Mihael, with no chance of escape."

Clubs helped me into a nearby chair and glared at the bloodstains on the floor. Even though they weren't mine, they served as a constant reminder that nobody was safe. They were the result of a break-in. About fifteen people- and they were good people. They felt awful about their business, but hey, what can you do- died and their blood stayed on the floor. It could've been cleaned up a while ago, but of course, the Master didn't want that. Mihael looked at the floor and took a step back.

"So you live here?"

"Mihael, here's an idea. I don't know how you got out of the hospital so damn quick, and honestly I don't care, but do yourself a favor. Forget a dead man's face."

"What does that mean?"

"It means forget I even exist because in a few missions, I won't."

He looked horrified. He turned on his heel, pulled the collar of his overcoat up to shield his face, and stormed off. A card fell out of his pocket and whooshed into my lap. I didn't bother to look at it. I felt blood trickling out of my shoulder again. _Oh shit. I'm in for it this time._ Thankfully, Clubs saw my dilemma and slammed the door. He hefted me up and put me back in my bed. I honestly have no idea how he has so much muscle, he's as thin as a rail and god forbid he eat anything but sweets. Fox came in and rebound everything so tight I thought my legs were going to fall off. You could see the muscles in her small arms working. It was incredible how fast she could move. Although, I was unconscious for a good twenty minutes of it, so it might have taken her longer than I thought it did.

"Honestly, if you keep exerting yourself like this, you will never recover, you idiot."

I was running the idiot's gauntlet. The idiot's gambit in this exchange would be mine. My shoulder hurt and I winced when I sat up.

"You idiot, you mustn't! You're going to open your wounds again and then what are we supposed to do?" Fox snapped and pushed me back down. Although her words were harshly spoken, her hands were gentle.

"I'm going to go insane."

"Your shoulder would be back to normal by now if you didn't keep moving around! I swear, you and Sharp are going to kill yourselves."

Fox sounded like my mother. She definitely wasn't cut out for being a heartless killer. She was cut from the same cloth as one, sure, but that didn't make her automatically heartless. She was just a kid, and her middle brother was the leader of the crime syndicate that her entire family belonged to. It was a strange picture, really. She'd learned how to take care of wounds at the age of four, shoot a rifle at five, and throw knives at six. She was definitely a force to be reckoned with. She had long blonde hair that was always kept in either a ponytail or two braids going down her back. Her eyes were the color of honey and she was pale as death. Her older brother, Light, had auburn hair, but everything else was the same. Their oldest brother, Clubs (I still don't know his real name to this day), was completely different. He had black hair and obsidian eyes. Luckily, he was as pale as death as well, so that was all he got from his parents, I suppose. I asked him once if he dyed his hair, and he said no. But appearances wouldn't have mattered so much if our entire business wasn't get close to the target (proximity-close, not emotionally-close), point and shoot. Light learned quickly that people who actually gave a damn about their appearance got more of their targets cancelled out than people who didn't. It was the nature of the business.

"Hey, Paradox, have you even been listening to a word I've been saying?"

"Nope, sorry."

"Your knees were almost all the way healed, you idiot! You're lucky you heal faster than the average human, otherwise you'd be paralyzed for a really long time."

"Well god dammit!"

"You're telling me. Sharp's out of commission for weeks. You're out of commission for a few more days, tops."

I could feel my kneecaps fuse back together and it hurt like hell. I bit my lip and waited for the pain to stop.

"What's wrong?"

"I can feel my kneecaps going back together. Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph that hurts."

"Never before have I heard you sat all three of those people in the same sentence. You must really be fucked up, Jeevas."

I glared at Fox. She laughed and just turned the dial up on one of the machines. I melted away into unconsciousness for what felt like seconds, but turned out to be days. Fox was on a mission with Clubs, and Sharp was still on house arrest. I had a mission to do. I stood up, didn't feel any pain, and no blood came out of my legs so I guessed I was okay. I pulled the needles out of my skin and pulled a shirt over my head. I walked into the main room. There was a file with my name on it on the table. I picked it up and leafed through it. It was an execution. _Wonderful. First day back and I get a target. Perfect._ I grabbed my sniper rifle and the file. I headed out and ended up on the better part of town.

"Good Lord, what are you doing?"

"Ma'am, I'm just doing my job." I replied, bringing up my sights.

"Who are you?"

"Nobody." I didn't let her get a good look at my face or at my rifle.

I let loose the bullet and watched the man's head explode. I crossed out his face and got back in my car. I sped back home and found Clubs and Fox waiting for me. I put the file in the stack of finished assignments and sat down.

"How did it go?"

"Brain matter went flying."

"No punishment today. You got it done in a timely manner."

"Yeah, thank God. I thought I was done for."

"Anybody distract you?"

"A woman saw me, and started asking questions."

"Did you cancel her out?"

"No. She didn't see my face or my rifle."

A hand hit me on the back of the head. Clubs' look alike, Spades, was standing behind me. _Can they not mess with my head today?_

"What the fuck do you want, Spades?"

"That's mean, Paradox! How you wound me!" Spades feigned dying on the floor.

"Enough with the theatrics, Spades. Jeez. He's been doing that all day, Clubs. Get him under control!"

"How the hell should I do that? He's not my apprentice, he's Fox's!"

"Hey, bro, I think you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"Fox is _nine fucking years old._"

"So? She cancelled out a target two years younger than her. What's wrong, Spades?"

He pointed behind me. _Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. I don't need this today._ Soichiro Yagami, the old syndicate boss, was standing behind me. I stood and about faced. He was standing there, his eyes narrowed at Spades.

"Spades, your target went free."

Two of the boss's goons came up behind Spades and grabbed him. They dragged him, kicking and screaming, to the basement, and locked the door behind them. I heard several gunshots and a single scream. Fox had her ears covered and her eyes closed. _That's the third one this week._ Clubs stared at Soichiro, but he didn't look him in the eye. The goons came back with blood on their shoes. Soichiro gave them a look and the message was obviously 'clean it up'. They turned around and I heard dragging sounds a few minutes later. Spades wasn't going to come back. That much was obvious. Fox uncovered her ears and opened her eyes. Clubs was standing still. Fox jumped out of her chair and tugged on my sleeve.

"Why did they kill Spades? He's just an apprentice." She whispered in my ear.

"Your guess is as good as mine." I whispered back.

The Master walked in and all of us stood, heads down. He clapped my shoulder and muttered a 'good job'. He handed Fox a file. He kicked Clubs in the gut.

"Clubs, don't take as long."

"Yes sir." Clubs wheezed.

"Where the hell is Spades? I have a mission for him."

"Spades is… incapacitated. I don't believe he'll be coming back." Soichiro responded.

The Master looked up. His eyes were liquid fire and his hands were shaking. _Oh shit. _Fox hid behind me. I took her hand in mine and led her out of the room. Seconds later I heard gunshots and the sound of a body hitting the floor. I ran inside. Soichiro had pulled a gun and Clubs was on his knees, blood leaking out of a wound in his stomach.


	3. Chapter 3: Punishment

Light gave me the same 'Clean it up' face his father had given his goons. I nodded and hefted Clubs to his feet. I basically carried him out of the room.

"Lawliet!" Fox screeched.

She slapped her hands over her mouth. Clubs-Lawliet- was bleeding all over the place.

"Fox, help him!"

She ran off and came back with medical equipment. I put Lawliet on his back and let Fox do her thing. He looked much paler than usual, but Fox didn't seem worried. She had tears in her eyes. Her brother opened his eyes and held her hand. He looked like he was dying.

"Hey, Emi, don't cry. I'm getting out."

"Don't go. Don't leave me alone, Lawli-kun!"

His breath was rattling in his chest. _No, Clubs! No, you asshole!_ His face was paling even more. He was lying in a puddle of his own blood. Fox had two hands over his stomach, working furiously to stop the bleeding. I slipped my hands underneath hers and put all of my weight on Clubs. By the way he winced, I could tell he was in pain.

"Do your thing. I can stop the bleeding."

She nodded and cut Clubs' shirt open. He had a couple fragments of a bullet sticking out of his skin, which I took to be a good sign. Fox pulled them out and winced when Clubs whimpered. _At least he's still conscious._

"Clubs, don't die. Whatever you do, don't die. If you die now, I'll never forgive you." I said, keeping my voice low.

Clubs winced. I couldn't tell if my comment made him wince or if Fox had pulled out more fragments. She moved my blood-coated hands and pulled out the bullet. She sewed the wound closed, then held her hand out. I put my lighter in her hands and held Clubs' sides. He screeched when Fox cauterized the wound shut overtop the stitches, but at least he had stopped bleeding. She handed me my lighter. Somehow, she had no blood on her whatsoever. I, however, was covered in it. She bound Clubs' stomach. I wiped my forehead and sighed. I considered burying my face in my hands, but that seemed like an awful idea since they were covered in blood. Instead, I walked outside, lit a cigarette, and stared into the sky.

"That blood isn't yours, is it?" It was the blonde.

"You again. Why do you care?"

"I don't know. I just feel like I should."

"No, it's not mine. There was an… incident."

"What kind of incident?"

_Don't say anything to him. Corps business belongs with the Corps._

"None of your business. And honestly, hanging around here is only going to get you killed."

He grabbed my hands and pulled me behind him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Shut up. I'm getting you out of there. I thought that was obvious."

"You idiot, I can't just leave-"

"Sure you can. We're leaving right now, aren't we?"

"They can find me-"

"If they do, I'll kill them."

Whatever retort was formed in my head immediately dissipated. He pulled me into the bathroom at a nearby restaurant and helped me de-bloody myself. There was blood on my forehead. I looked like an axe murderer. Mihael grabbed some paper towels and scrubbed the blood off of my face. We then proceeded to get ice cream. _What do I do in this situation? I'm finally out, but I can't stay here. I'll get found. Maybe if I book it fast enough I can get back. Clubs still needs me. Fox can't survive without Clubs, and if Clubs is gone then I need to be there._ I sighed.

"Something wrong?"

"I have to go back. Don't ask questions, I just have to. I'm in deep enough shit as it is. I don't need even more horseshit piling up against me."

"That is disgusting."

I shrugged, finished my ice cream, and got up to leave.

"Thanks for the ice cream. I have to get going. Maybe we can talk some other time?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

I turned on my heel and bolted. I jumped through the open window into Clubs' room and saw Fox waiting for me. She had her arms crossed and was smiling.

"Where were you?"

"I went outside for a smoke and realized I was covered in your brother's blood. Oh, and a blonde man I was supposed to have killed came and whisked me away for ice cream. It was amazing."

"You're just saying it was amazing because you were inches from escape, Paradox. You have to be careful!"

"I know, I know. Is Clubs okay?"

"He'll be fine. Mail, look be-"

A knife hit my back and I fell onto the floor in front of Fox. _Wonderful. Now I'm target practice._ My thoughts were interrupted when several guns were used to pin me to the floor. I got the distinct impression that I was not getting up any time soon. One of the guns went off and sent a bullet into my leg. I didn't move. Arms pulled me straight up and dragged me somewhere. I wasn't really paying attention. I was jerked out of my reverie when my arms were chained to the wall and my shirt was cut off of me. I was being held up on the wall by my arms and it stung. Light the Asshole came out of nowhere, pointing a gun at me and brandishing a whip. _Oh shit. I really do not fucking need-_ Everything went blank when he emptied a round of bullets into my arms and whipped the shit out of my skin. I could feel layers of it peeling back and it burned. Blood trickled down my arms. He made sure to hit my face a few times. He hit right across my now-closed eye and I sucked in a breath. He grew bored and grabbed a poker from the fire. He twirled it around on my skin, right above my pant line. The smell of burning flesh filled the room and my eyes were watering. _Oh shit. What did I do this time? Can't I even go outside and smoke a cigarette anymore? Since when did he care about what I do in my spare time?_ He went back to the whip before picking up a long sword. He brought it down a couple times on my arms before skewering my stomach. I swore and yelled out in pain. Light had a satisfied look on his face.

"That's your lesson for now. You are not to move. You're mine, you understand? You belong to _me._"

I nodded weakly. My head felt like it was going to fall off of my neck.

"Good. Hearts, Diamonds, get Fox to clean this mess up. Oh, and Paradox?"

I looked up. He brought up a brass-knuckled hand and hit me. I felt welts form and blood come out of my mouth. Light seemed to be satisfied and walked away. Diamonds pulled the sword out of my stomach and put it on the table. He put pressure on my now-gushing stomach. Fox came running and he lowered me to the floor.

"Holy shit, Mail! What happened?"

"Don't ask questions. Just fix him."

Fox stitched what was left of my skin back together and bandaged it. She covered the gash over my eye in gauze and kissed my forehead. I felt painkillers get pumped into my arms before she removed all of the bullets and bandaged those as well.

"You'll be okay, Mail. I promise. I'll make sure you don't die."

"By the time I'm done with him, he'll wish he was dead." Light said.

He emerged from his corner and had me hung on the wall again. This time I was facing the wall. Something hot was brought down on my back. I hissed in pain, but bit my lip. My good eye was squeezed shut. I heard the skin on my back crackle from being hit with whatever Light was using. I felt him using my back as a punching bag. He smartly avoided hitting my spine. He smashed my head against the wall and stars danced in front of my eyes. I felt blood trickle out of my mouth. Light swore and went back to burning my back. After a while, I couldn't really feel my back and Light turned me around. He spit in my face and cut the chains. I crumpled to the floor. _Am I done? Please let this be over, or can I just die? I'd rather be dead than be in any more pain._ God didn't exist, or if he did, he obviously didn't give a shit about the street kids, because seconds later I felt something slip into my bloodstream and I was out cold. When I woke up, I was in my own bed. One thing I was acutely aware of was the fact that I was half-naked and in shorts. Sharpshooter was sitting next to me, tears on his face and blood on his hands.

"Hey, Sharp. How are you doing?"

"You idiot! What were you thinking, running away? You could've been killed!"

I couldn't move. Another thing I didn't know. For some reason my chest felt like someone had shoved their hand into it and pulled out my heart.

"A blonde man came looking for you a couple weeks ago. Said you were friends or something."

"Wait a fucking second. How long have I been out?"

"About a month and a half. Although, mostly it was due to blood loss. You were seriously fucked up. You were screaming the whole time Fox was trying to help you out. She couldn't move you out of the basement because she was terrified about the amount of blood coming from your head. Your heart was seriously messed up too, Paradox. Light did all sorts of weird shit to you."

"I don't even want to know. Permanent damage?"

"None, just some scars and minor brain damage. You know, banging your head against the wall isn't really an effective means of knocking yourself out. Light made an example of you. He kicked you into the main room right after Fox fixed you up. You were still bleeding too. It was gross. He said 'this is what happens to people who defy me' and shoved his hand into your chest. It was disgusting."

"It sounds gross. Anyway," I paused as the world spun, "Where am I? More importantly, why am I half-naked?"

"Your wounds didn't heal as fast as they usually do. The Master did some fucked up things. I think it was the damage to your heart that slowed your healing process down."

"Just kill me, Sharp. Just put a bullet through my brain and let me die."

Fox finished fixing up her brother and came over.

"What's all this I hear about bullets?"

"Paradox went crazy! He's telling me to kill him!"

"Paradox, I did not go through all of the trouble of saving your life so that you could just up and die. You're going to be fine. Clubs will be fine. Everyone will be okay."

My chest flared up with pain and I sucked in a breath. My hands clenched into fists and I grit my teeth. There was a flash of blonde outside my window. _The idiot's still hanging around._ I was stuck in the idiot's gauntlet, and the gambit was sure to be mine. I curled up in a ball and held my chest. It felt like I was on fire.

"Ah good, my experiment is working."

"You put an experimental element in Paradox? What the hell, Light?" Fox snapped.

"Don't worry, I've ruled out the possibility of it killing him. Besides, if he is weak he will die. Take deep breaths, Paradox. Count to ten. Lower your heart rate." Light strapped something around my wrist and it beeped like crazy.

I counted to ten. The beeping slowed. I sucked in air and the beeping went back to normal. _An elevated heart rate causes whatever this bastard put into my body to lash out. Which means no running. Damn._ I felt flesh knitting itself back together and sighed. It wasn't an abnormal feeling. Fox pumped painkillers into my bloodstream and I slowly uncurled. Sharp pushed me onto my back and I hissed in pain. He grimaced and apologized under his breath.

"Hey now, no need to apologize. It's my fault I'm in this mess."


	4. Chapter 4: Incapacitation

Clubs was fine a few days later. I was fine a few weeks later. I had a lot of scars. Right above my pant line were scars from the damn burns, and there were great, long scars from the whip. I heard from Fox that Light had combined the two for maximum damage to my back. Wonderful. So I guessed that I had scarring on my back. There was a heart-shaped scar over my heart. I didn't think that was Light's intent, but there it was. I was sent on the easy jobs. A few exterminations here, some reconnaissance there. Most of the time Light just kept me at the Corps house. I was bored out of my mind, until I got curious about my heart rate. I knew there was a gym on the top floors that the goons used, so I headed up there. I grabbed a pair of boxing gloves and beat the shit out of a punching bag for about half an hour before the heart rate monitor attached to my wrist blared the alarms for me to stop. I wanted to see how far I could go, so I kept hitting it. It got to about one-eighty-six before my chest gave off a stab of pain. I didn't really notice, so I frowned. After a couple seconds the stab of pain went to a full-blown, stabbed through the heart feeling. I hit the floor and curled up. I counted backwards from ten in my head. It didn't do anything. I took deep breaths. Nothing. I pulled the boxing gloves off and looked at the heart rate monitor. One ninety seven. Not bad. I sighed and waited for my heart rate to go back down. I sat up against a wall. Clubs came running in.

"I heard someone hit the floor?" He raised his really thin eyebrows.

"Oh, it's just me up here, being an idiot."

He sighed. "You have a job to do. Don't get too excited, you might kill yourself."

I looked at the heart rate monitor and shook my head. Back to sixty. I was fine.

"I'll be all right. So, where am I going?"

"Here's your target and his schedule. 'Get the job done in a timely manner. Sincerely, the Master.'"

"Wonderful. Let's hope he's not trying to kill me."

"You're his little experiment. The hell if he's going to kill you. Oh, and Fox took his toys when they were little, so you can blame her for his overprotectiveness. If you can even call it that."

I rolled my eyes and took the file. _Matsuda Touta. To the ice cream shop! _Even I didn't want to kill someone in an ice cream shop. It was unseemly. But, that was the nature of my work. I grabbed my sniper rifle and found a high spot at the top of the next building. I looked through my scope and had trouble focusing. _Tch. Annoying. _I flung it to the side, making a mental note to pick it up later. I lined up the end of my rifle(there's a term for it, but I never paid attention to that shit) with Touta's head. I heard the sound of light footsteps running up the stairs so I grabbed my scope and hid. Fox came running out. My heart rate monitor, now set to a lower volume setting, was softly beeping like crazy. I took a couple deep breaths and came out of my hiding spot.

"What the hell, Fox? I was right about to take out my target!"

"Light sent me to look after you. Said you had an incident this morning."

"Yes, I got curious and decided to see how far I could push it. Pretty damn far."

Fox giggled and took out a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. She read while I lined up my rifle again. Touta turned his head and it looked like he was staring at me. I knew for a fact that he wasn't, because I was on top of a building. He waved at a very irritating blonde someone and Mihael waved back. _Honestly, must you be everywhere?_ I pulled the trigger and Matsuda's head exploded. Mihael stopped and looked around at the rooftops. I ducked for cover and pulled Fox with me. She marked her page and I hid my sniper rifle in my gym bag. We nodded to each other and walked casually out of the building and back to the Corps house. I put my gym bag down and sat on the floor.

"You're out of cigarettes again, aren't you?"

"Why, yes, yes I am." I smiled.

"Just go to the store." Sharp said.

_Good idea._ I stood up and walked past Light on the way out.

"Where might you be going?"

"I was going to go to the store and pick up some cigarettes."

Light nodded and waved his hand. That was the Corps signal for go and do whatever the hell you want, you can't leave. I walked to the store and bought my pack of cigarettes. Mihael was in there trying to calm down. Well, I guess he didn't see me, because he smiled when I tapped his shoulder.

"Hey there."

"You snuck up on me. That's no fair." He pouted.

I laughed. "All's fair in love and war."

"Which one is this?"

_Love. _"War."

Mihael's eyes fell for a second but he recovered quickly. His smile was still ever-present. We walked outside and I lit one of my cigarettes. He stared at it in disgust. He took out a chocolate bar and bit into it happily. I laughed.

"I missed you for a month and a half."

"I was… injured… in my line of work."

"Did you get arrested?"

"No! No, I was at home. I'd really prefer not to talk about it, if you don't mind."

"I don't. Are you okay now?"

I shrugged. "More or less."

I tapped the heart monitor around my wrist absently. I realized what I was doing and put my hands in my pockets. There was a line of police tape around the ice cream shop.

"You did that." Mihael pointed at the bloody splatter on the ground.

"My line of work, like I said, is dangerous. I'm a bad person. I kick puppies. I make rude gestures at nuns. Sometimes people end up dead. It's my job."

"And you're stuck there?"

"I can't leave. It's called a crime syndicate, not an employer. I don't get paid, but I get housed and, if I fuck up, punished. It feels like being a member of the mafia. But it's not, y'know?"

"I get what you're saying, yeah. Why'd you join in the first place?"

"I wanted to get out of the streets. My little sister Linda came with me."

"What happened to her?"

"She's dead now. She died when I was thirteen and she was nine. Too soon, if you ask me."

"God gives and God takes."

"Seems like he takes more than he gives."

"To you, maybe that's just how it is. To everyone else, it's equal."

I heard gunshots and saw two people fall. I grabbed Mihael's wrist and ran.

"Come on. We have to get out of here."

"Why?"

"Snipers. And if you're on their target list, you're dead. So come on."

He followed behind me. The heart rate monitor beeped like crazy, signaling that I needed to stop running soon or shit was going to get ugly. We hid inside the furniture store bathroom. There were no windows, so we were safe. The heart rate monitor hit two hundred and my knees buckled. I grabbed at my chest and doubled over. _Shit! I don't need this now! _I hit the floor and Mihael put his hands on my shoulders. I took deep breaths and he stared at me.

"Should I get help?"

I shook my head. The heart rate monitor slowed to about one hundred and my chest stopped aching. I didn't move for fear that it would spike again. _Fuck._

"You okay?"

I nodded. _I'll be fine._ Mihael helped me sit up against the wall. Once I stopped hearing gunshots, we tentatively walked outside. There were bodies everywhere, and someone had called the police. We slipped out the back door. I escorted Mihael back to his apartment.

"You want a drink?"

"I should get back. I told the boss I was going for cigarettes. That was a couple hours ago. Look, don't hang around the syndicate building. Meet me at the store tomorrow?"

"Isn't your boss going to get suspicious?"

"Nope, I'm known to smoke a lot. It'll be fine."

I ran back to the building, which wasn't easy. A block before I got there, my heart rate was dangerously high. I ignored the beeping monitor and kept running. A few feet in front of the building, I collapsed. My chest was on fire. _Three in one day… That's no good._ Someone ran outside and picked me up, half-dragging half-carrying me inside. The second they got me into my room, I fell to the floor and didn't move for what felt like hours. My heart felt like it was on fire. Clubs walked in and put me onto the bed. I was shaking.

"Paradox, what the hell happened to you?"

"Three in one day…"

"You had three incidents in one day?"

"This morning, during the snipers, and on the way back home."

"Snipers? Where were they?"

"Outside the syndicate building. It was a massacre. Everyone in that square is dead."

"Those weren't our snipers. What the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know." My chest throbbed with pain.

Sharp walked in and threw a blanket over me. I could barely move. He sat down and put something in front of me. _Pain pills… Thanks, Fox. _I reached out and picked them up. He handed me a bottle of water and I downed both the bottle and the pills. Diamonds came in and nodded to himself. He walked back out. _What the fuck? Actually, I guess it doesn't matter. _Sharp whispered something in Clubs' ear and he ran out. Sharp sat down in his place and I could barely move. It felt like my heart was pumping overtime but no blood was circulating. I bit my lip so hard it bled.

"Mail, stop it. Come on, snap out of it!" Sharp shook my shoulders a little.

I groaned. "Don't do that."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I should be fine… It's only a bit of-" My heart literally clenched and I yelled.

Sharp picked me up-a feat I never thought him able to accomplish because I was _much_ heavier than he was- and ran to Fox's room. Clubs was waiting for us there, along with Fox. She pointed to the floor and Sharp put me down. I curled up into a little ball onto the floor, tears coming out of my eyes. I hardly ever cried. Clubs looked at Fox and nodded. She tried to coax me out of being the ball and Clubs used physical force. Eventually, I gave in and uncurled slowly. My chest lit on fire and I embraced unconsciousness. I awoke to an incredibly sterile white room, with several wires sticking out of my arms, and machines beeping all over the place. My heart rate monitor was still on my wrist-thank God- and was going off the walls. _Where am I? What's going on? Holy shit, did something happen? Did Light snap?_

"Calm down, Mr. Jeevas. You're in the hospital. Your friends brought you in."

Fox, Clubs, Sharp, and, surprisingly enough, Light, were standing behind him. _Well, three out of four are my friends. Light's technically my employer._ My chest still ached, but it wasn't as bad. I closed my eyes and counted back from ten. Once I got to about three, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was back at home. Fox was asleep on the floor, Clubs was staring out of the blackout window, and Sharp was nowhere to be found. I sat up. _Was I asleep?_

"Good job, Paradox. You managed to save a life and almost kill yourself, all in one day." Light said from in the doorway.

I jumped.


	5. Chapter 5: Escape

I turned my head to stare at Light. Diamonds was standing behind him. I was pretty sure Diamonds' real name was Gevanni or something, but I honestly couldn't have cared less. Thankfully, Light made that comment and left. Diamonds gave me the 'I'm watching you' face and followed suit. _Off with your head!_ I thought, trying to make a joke out of the fact that I would probably have been spending a lot more time in the basement with Hearts, Diamonds, and Light. I shuddered at the thought. Clubs turned to look at me.

"You okay?"

"I should be. Did I really go to the hospital?"

"Yeah. You should've seen Hearts and Diamonds. They flipped out and practically told Light to kill you for being useless."

"Yes, because it's my fault that Light turned me into a living experiment."

"You got that right. Anyway, you're not allowed out of the house for the rest of today. Which, if I'm being honest, is not that long."

I linked my fingers behind my head and sighed. Fox stirred on the floor but didn't wake up.

"Why the hell were you running? You know that's dangerous for you."

"Well, when there's snipers trying to massacre people, generally the natural reaction is to run for your life. I wasn't totally thinking."

"What the fuck were you thinking, running home? You had plenty of time."

"Where I was, running was the fastest option. I wanted to get back to see if everyone was okay. Honestly, I don't even know why I ran. I felt like there was something chasing me."

"You think you were followed?"

"Probably not. But, then again, I wasn't really paying attention."

Clubs laughed. I smiled. Fox sat up and stared at me like I was a living miracle. Her eyes were wide, not to mention full of tears. I held out my arms and she practically flew into them, crying. I hugged her tightly until she stopped crying.

"Hey now, I'm okay. Don't worry about me." I smiled.

I got up out of bed-finally- and walked into the kitchen. Sharpshooter was sitting with Heads, Tails, Toss, and Flip. I waved and Sharp waved back. The others didn't even look at me. I rolled my shoulders and grabbed some cereal. I sat next to Flip. She smiled.

"Glad to see you're okay. You scared the shit outta me."

"Sorry 'bout that."

Heads kicked her under the table and she stuck her pierced tongue out at him. Flip's real name was Sydney. She was relatively new to the syndicate, and tended to make herself scarce. Heads' real name was Mikami. He'd been in the syndicate as long as I had. Then there was Tails, whose name was Misa Amane. She was maddening and nobody liked her very much. Toss's name was Raye Pember. Toss was an ex-FBI agent with nowhere else to go. Flip was just a street kid, like me. Heads was a guy who got his cookies from killing innocent people. Misa was in it for the sport. Flip's smile fell and she handed a note to Light, who had just walked behind her. He took it and nodded.

The day was over. The store was closed, but I still remembered how to get to Mihael's apartment. It was time for me to knit the scarf and ride the ogre. That is, it was time to pay Mihael a visit.

And I sure as hell wasn't going back.

"I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" Light didn't look up.

"Out."

I walked out the front door. I sprinted to Mello's apartment, tears coming out of my eyes. I left my cell phone, credit card, and anything else traceable in front of the ice cream shop. I kept sprinting. I was no one. I was a face in the street. I had to stop when the heart rate monitor screeched its protest. I stopped running long enough to see Mello's apartment building. I sprinted inside and up the stairs, even though my heart rate wasn't nearly low enough for me to sprint. The second I got in front of his apartment, my chest tightened and I fell to my knees. I hit the door weakly a couple times before curling up on the ground. I heard the door open.

"Mail! What's happened?" Mihael opened the door and helped me inside.

I ended up on his couch, with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. Mihael closed the blinds and locked the front door. When he bolted it, I felt infinitely safer. We were on the first floor, so if anyone came for me we could slip out the back windows. He knelt in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

"Why do you collapse like that?"

"I'm… Well, I'm like a medical experiment. I screwed up, Mihael, and I got what was coming to me."

"What happened to you?"

"I fucked up a job. And in the Corps, when you fuck up a job, you get punished. I ended up with six bullets to the shoulder and broken kneecaps. After a friend of mine, Clubs, got shot, I ended up-" I broke off, shaking. I dropped the mug on the floor and it smashed.

"It's all right. What's wrong with your heart? Don't think I haven't noticed that whenever you collapse you grab at your heart."

"Like I said, I'm a medical experiment. The Master stuck his hand in my chest, pulled my heart to the surface, and injected it with something. It messes with my blood flow when my heart rate gets too high. I'm surprised it hasn't killed me yet."

"That's dangerous, even for a crime syndicate. If you like, you can stay here."

"It's deadly to house a member of a crime syndicate where no one gets out alive."

"Well, it's deadly to meet up with one in person, so I don't think you can really make that argument."

I laughed and he smiled.

"You can call me Mello. Anything I can call you other than Mail or Paradox?"

"My… My sister called me Matt sometimes, so I guess you can call me that."

"C'mon, Matt. That vest is gaudy and anyone will recognize it."

I laughed again and he tossed me a black tank top and a pair of really baggy jeans. I slid them on and Mello smiled. _Someone's happy._ He went online and bought two tickets out of New York and down to Texas. He then handed me a duffel bag and told me to fill it with clothes. _Guess I'm wearing his shit. Although, it's not too bad because he's the same size as me._ I filled it with t-shirts and sweatpants. He filled his with tank tops and athletic shorts. We left and got to the airport well before our flight at seven in the morning. It was five-thirty by the time we were through security and at the gate. Mello bought some chocolate bars and I just waited for the plane near the windows. I stared at people going about their normal jobs. Something nearby went off like a gunshot and I hit the floor. Mello put a hand on my shoulder.

"Relax, it's only someone's cell phone. Don't be so jumpy, you'll only draw attention to yourself."

"I guess… I guess I'm just waiting for the next hit."

"I know what you mean."

When we boarded the plane for the four-hour flight to Texas, I couldn't wait to get off. Mello held my hand the entire time, which helped. It was my first time on a plane. Sure, the woman with the 'I love Jesus' t-shirt and rosary beads sitting in the window seat gave us dirty looks, but I was too busy trying not to freak out that I barely noticed. Mello just seemed not to care. The flight passed uneventfully and we were soon in a hotel in Texas. Mello rented an apartment and we moved in there. I was really out. I didn't ever have to shoot anyone again. I didn't have to line up my sights ever again. I sighed and it felt like the weight of the world was off of my shoulders. Mello just seemed… Happy.

"Hey, Matt, I was wondering if you-erm- wanted to go to the movies?"

"Are you asking me out?"

_Please say no please say no __**please**__ say no._ "Y-Yes."

_Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES._ "No."

Mello deflated. His joy at finally escaping with me was totally crushed.

"Uh, well, then, I-"

"Mells? Shut up." I leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

"Uh-Well, I mean if you don't-"

"I'll make dinner for you, okay?"

He was just blustering on the couch, so I got up and made shepherd's pie. When I put it in front of him, Mello just stared at me.

"It's not poisonous, I promise." I smiled and ate my own plate.

Mello shrugged and ate his pie. I could tell it was awkward. I blew out a gust of air and stood up. Mello hadn't eaten any of his food. I held out my hand.

"If you're not going to eat it, there's no use in playing with it. Are you do-" He cut me off by throwing the plate at my head.

I caught it and put it on the table. "If you're going to refuse an invitation, don't act like nothing happened." Mello replied, kicking his chair over so hard it broke. He stormed off.

I sighed, put whatever was on them in a Tupperware container and put it in the fridge. I picked up the broken pieces of the chair and put them in the trash. Whatever Mells was pissed off about, I didn't know. I didn't want to be in public so soon after escaping. Even the thought of it terrified me. I put a note on the counter and walked out. I walked around for what felt like hours before jogging back home. The heart rate monitor beeped caution and I sat down outside the apartment. Mello had locked me out and I had purposefully left my keys inside. _Why did I not see this coming? _I knocked on the door and Mello opened it far enough for me to see a sliver of his face. He had the chain done. He saw it was me and slammed the door. I picked the lock and went inside. He had snapped the chain when he slammed it.

"Why did you refuse?" He sounded broken.

"I… I didn't want to be in a heavily populated area. They make me nervous."

"So it's not me?"

"No. I have no problems with you. If anything, I love you. I just… I didn't want to be in a movie theater."

"You could have said as much." He carefully pushed me onto the couch and pinned me down.


	6. Chapter 6: Accidents and Missing

I felt his lips on mine and he slowly pulled my shirt up over my head. My heart rate monitor fell onto the floor and stopped beeping. Mello ran his hands over my chest and bit my lip. My heart raced so fast that it hurt. My eyes snapped shut and I instinctively tried to curl into a ball. Mells being on top of me prevented that, however. I howled in pain and Mello got off of me. I ran into the bathroom(stepping on my heart rate monitor and breaking it, might I add) and sat in front of the door, letting the cold floor squeeze all of the extra heat out of me. I was covered in sweat and my lip was bleeding. I pulled my knees up to my chest and covered my head with my elbows. After a few minutes my heart rate calmed down enough for me to get up. I stumbled around, bleary-eyed, before finding the doorknob and walking into the living room. Mello was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, shoulders shaking. I flopped onto the couch next to him and basically put my head in his lap so I could see his face. His eyes were red-rimmed. _What the fuck am I doing here? I should be back at the house, I have to- __**No.**__ I never have to go back. I never have to go back. Ever._

"I'm so sorry, I should've-"

"Shush, Mihael. I'm okay. Everything is fine. Look at me. I'm fine. Mihael, look at me."

He opened his eyes and stared into mine. He pointed to the shattered bits of my heart rate monitor and wiped his eyes. I frowned and picked up the pieces. His face just got sadder and sadder. _Aw shit._

"Mells, has anyone told you that you have the saddest sad face ever?"

"That's not something many people talk about."

He smiled and I smiled.

"I thought you would've had more reservations about running away with me." Mells said, raising his eyebrow.

"In all honesty, I wasn't really thinking. I just… I just wanted out. Enough was enough, y'know? I've been toyed with against my will, tied up against a wall and whipped. I've had my heart almost ripped out of my chest. I've been shot. I've been through enough with that damn syndicate. I never want to go back. I want to turn the light off on that part of my life and move on."

"Easier said than done."

"We seem to be managing pretty well."

"Oh yes, being at the southernmost part of fucking _Texas_, as far away from New York we can get, is managing pretty well. Someday they'll come looking for you."

"Someday is not now. I'd rather live in peace until that happens." I watched my eyes darken in the reflection of Mello's necklace. I sat up, careful not to knock heads with Mello.

"Living in peace can mean inner war."

"Living in inner war cannot possibly amount to killing people. I never want to put my hands on a rifle again. I don't think you understand, Mells. It's not that I miss this kind of lifestyle. I stare at the blood on my hands and it makes me sick to my stomach. I look at the pictures of the people I've killed hanging on my walls and I shudder. I keep them there because I know. My father once told me 'Never forget the people you kill, because I can assure you they will never forget you'. I can't look in the mirror anymore because all I can see are the eyes of a killer."

"You're not a killer. You work. It's your job. You were trained to-"

"I made a choice. And that choice is why I'm here. I can't say I'm unhappy I made it, but I have too much red in my ledger."

I realized I had tears falling down my face and hastily brushed them off of my face. Mello put his arm on mine and I stiffened.

"Please, trust me."

I went limp and let him pull me into his arms. I clung to Mello like a life raft and he didn't seem to care. He rubbed circles into my back and whispered nothings into my ears. I felt safe, like nothing could hurt me. Mells picked me up and dropped me into his bed. I was going to get up and sit on the couch, but Mello just draped his arm over my waist and kept me there. I fell asleep in Mello's arms. I wasn't completely comfortable, but it was better than being alone.

_Everything went blank when he emptied a round of bullets into my arms and whipped the shit out of my skin. I could feel layers of it peeling back and it burned. Blood trickled down my arms. He made sure to hit my face a few times. He hit right across my now-closed eye and I sucked in a breath. He grew bored and grabbed a poker from the fire. He twirled it around on my skin, right above my pant line. The smell of burning flesh filled the room and my eyes were watering__**.**____**Oh shit. What did I do this time? Can't I even go outside and smoke a cigarette anymore? Since when did he care about what I do in my spare time?**__He went back to the whip before picking up a long sword. He brought it down a couple times on my arms before skewering my stomach. I swore and yelled out in pain. Light had a satisfied look on his face_.

_"That's your lesson for now. You are not to move. You're mine, you understand? You belong to__me.__"_

_I nodded weakly. My head felt like it was going to fall off of my neck._

_"Good. Hearts, Diamonds, get Fox to clean this mess up. Oh, and Paradox?"_

_I looked up. He brought up a brass-knuckled hand and hit me. I felt welts form and blood come out of my mouth. Light seemed to be satisfied and walked away. Diamonds pulled the sword out of my stomach and put it on the table. He put pressure on my now-gushing stomach. Fox came running and he lowered me to the floor._

_"Holy shit, Mail! What happened?"_

_"Don't ask questions. Just fix him."_

_Fox stitched what was left of my skin back together and bandaged it. She covered the gash over my eye in gauze and kissed my forehead. I felt painkillers get pumped into my arms before she removed all of the bullets and bandaged those as well._

_"You'll be okay, Mail. I promise. I'll make sure you don't die."_

_"By the time I'm done with him, he'll wish he was dead." Light said._

Mello was shaking my shoulders. I woke up in a cold sweat, with Mello straddling my waist and pinning my arms next to my head. I blinked a couple times, wondering why the hell there was a man on top of me. It took a second to remember. Tears welled up in my eyes again and Mello's eyes softened. _What the hell, Mail?! You're supposed to be a cold-hearted killer. Stop crying!_ Mello got off of me and draped his arm over my chest.

"You cry too much to be a cold-hearted killer."

I just leaned into his side and cried. He seemed surprised by my actions and hugged me tighter. I fell asleep to the sound of his heart. When I woke up, he was gone. The apartment was empty. I searched the entire apartment and surrounding blocks, to no avail. Mello was nowhere to be found. I was starting to panic. I felt my heart rate increase. _Shit… This is not good._ I felt my knees buckle. I leaned up against the wall and took deep breaths. A woman with blonde hair and sunglasses stopped.

"You okay there?"

I nodded. _This is nothing I can't handle. I'll be fine._ I smiled sadly.

"I'll be fine. I'm just looking for a friend of mine. He's got blonde hair and blue eyes. His name's Mihael."

"You aren't talking about Mells, are ya?" She had a southern accent that was both endearing and irritating at the same time. Then again, I probably sounded like I was from New York.

"Yeah, I am. Know where I can find him?"

"He's probably down at the compound. He might be catchin' up with some o' his old friends."

"Old friends?"

"He used ter belong to the local crime syndicate when he was a l'il thang."

"How do you know?"

"I'm in the syndicate. The name's Flicker. What can I call ya, partner?"

I knew it was just a southern thing, but the word 'partner' rattled my cage a bit. "Don't call me 'partner'. The name's Matt. I used to belong to a syndicate in New York called the Corps."

"On the run then, eh? We'll look after ya. C'mon down to the compound. Mello's probably there. I'll ask the boss if he knows anything."

"What do you do in the syndicate?"

"I'm a medical gal, Matt. I went to school and got a degree in biology and physics. I ain't nothing but a scientist."

"What do you know about the human heart?"


	7. Chapter 7: Second Chances

"What I know about the human heart is a lot. Why do ya care? Are ya some fancy city slicker who wants some teachin' in useful matters?"

"You want to see what happens when I run?"

"Why should I? Some city slicker that can run ain't-"

I took off and she raced after me. We played a game of cat and mouse all around town. After about fifteen minutes, my chest felt like it was going to explode and I collapsed. She slowed to a stop and rolled me onto my back. Flicker hit my chest a couple times and the pain eased. _What the hell is she doing?_ Flicker pulled me into an alleyway. My chest was still flaring with pain.

"What the hell happened to ya, slick?"

"I'm a bit of a medical experiment." I grit out.

She sighed. "One of Light's boys, then. Look, I can get your boss what he wants, he just needs to give me some-"

"Flicker, are _you_ the boss around here?"

"Yeah, I guess y'all can call me that. But I don't run a syndicate like Light does. I let my people leave. If they don't want in the business anymore, they can leave. I don't need heartless idiots pullin' their triggers because I told 'em to."

I inhaled sharply and curled in on myself. My heart felt like someone was lighting it on fire.

"Oh no ya don't!" Flicker snapped, uncurling me.

Flicker knew how to deal with what I was up against. She pulled out a needle that she had in her lab coat pocket (why she even had one was beyond me) and emptied it into my chest, right above my heart. She pounded my chest with her fist a couple times. Everything spiraled around before going black. When I woke up, I was in yet another unfamiliar room. It was really Texan, and Flicker was staring at a computer screen. On the screen was something that looked like a beating heart. Mello was standing right next to her.

"You really think this will work?"

"Worked for you, dinnit?" Flicker's voice sounded distant.

"Yessum, it did, but Light might have refined it a bit." Mello's voice was a mix of Texan words with a New York accent.

"You sound like a city slicker. Until we know what we're up against, we can't make any assumptions about anythin'. Might be dangerous for ya friend there."

Mello didn't even give me a second glace. Flicker flicked everything off of the screen and Mello looked irritated. She lobbed a death glare directly at him and he backed down. _Damn, this chick's terrifying._ She handed me a small bracelet. It was a gold band, and it looked like a watch. _What the hell?_

"Made it myself. It's supposed to monitor serotonin, adrenaline, blood pressure, and heart rate. If ya ever need it, there's a small slide that pops out of the back. Press the button and it'll inject a sedative directly into your bloodstream. That ought to keep y'all out of trouble."

"Thanks, Flicker. I don't know how I can-"

"Don't start with me. You're in my town, and I'll be damned if I'm not keeping eyes on ya to make sure y'all don't kill yourselves."

Mello helped me up and we left. I felt a little bit dizzy but other than that I was fine. Mello kept me on house arrest for a couple days, and he never left. I was a little bit uncomfortable but the hell if I was going to kick a guy out of his own apartment. _Wait a fucking second. Flicker said something about it working for him… Who the hell is this guy?_

"Mells, can I ask you a question?"

"Yessum?"

"When Flicker said that it worked for you, what did she mean?"

Mello sighed and sat down on the couch next to me. "A long time ago, before you were even in that syndicate, Flicker sent me up with information to Light. His syndicate building looked far better than ours, so I asked if I could hang around. Light told me I could and before I knew it I was being injected with all sorts of crazy shit. I ended up with the same thing you did. I got back here fast enough for Flicker to analyze it and come up with something to reverse it. That's what she injected you with. Although, from the looks of it, Light's done some serious refinin' to whatever he put in my heart."

"So I'm what happened to you on steroids? Is that why you wouldn't leave me alone?"

"Naw, y'all were just interesting. Not many people had the desire you did to get out."

Mello's Texan accent slipped through and he covered his mouth, hiding a smile. I laughed and tackled him. He stared at me and I brushed my lips to his.

"Why'd you hang around me, though? Usually I try to run away from hot guys with dastardly escape plans."

"Like I said, you seemed interesting. Why didn't you just kill me when you had the chance?" He replied, kissing me and rolling over.

"I don't know. Something about you just made me… Not want to kill you. It was like you were a magnet and I was a fucked up piece of Titanium."

"That is a wonderful metaphor."

Before either one of us knew it, we were half naked on the floor, and not caring one bit. Someone knocked on the door and Mello yelled at them to go away. Flicker shot what I assumed was a blank and Mello jumped, shoving his sweatshirt on and gesturing for me to grab the clothes and get the hell out of Dodge. I grabbed them and hid in our room. I leaned against the door, listening to their conversation.

"Where's yer city slicker friend?"

"He's sleepin'."

"Seems an awfully strange time to be sleepin'. Why don't y'all roust him and we'll get down to business. I can't have Light's people in my town, Mello. Y'all gotta either make sure y'all weren't followed or get the fuck out."

"Option two, then. Is my bank account here still full?"

"I ain't touchin' your money, so I'm guessin' it is. I'll miss ya, slick."

"See ya around, Jakey girl."

I heard Mello hit the floor and Flicker storm out. When I tentatively walked out, Mello was lying on the floor, his nose bleeding. I laughed and hauled him into the kitchen. He grabbed fistfuls of paper towels and stuffed them up against his nose.

"So her name's Jake?"

"Jake Strider, yeah. She's mighty troublesome when ya know how to push her buttons."

"Hey, Mells?"

"What, slick?"

"Your accent is adorable."

He blushed redder than the blood coming out of his nose and punched my arm. We shoved whatever we had into our duffel bags and Mello went and emptied his bank account. He had about nineteen thousand dollars saved up from when he lived here. We got onto a plane and flew to California. _The Texan hick and the City Slicker. Wonderful. _Mells fell asleep on the plane, and I just sat there, waiting to get off the damn thing. When Mells woke up, he instantly latched onto my hand and glared at anyone who even so much looked at us weird. I kissed his cheek and wrapped one arm around his waist.

"Calm down, Mells."

He was tense. I could feel it in all of his muscles. The second we got into the hotel, Mello ran around and closed all of the blinds. He locked the door and even threw the chain. He tackled me again.

"Mind if we pick up where we left off?" He still sounded incredibly Texan. Not that I minded.

I shook my head, already flushed. His lips attacked mine, and his hands found mine, pinning them beside my head. I didn't mind. His mouth tasted like chocolate, and someone knocked on the door. Mello chuckled before getting off of me and slipping the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob. He straddled my waist again and I felt my heart beat a little bit faster. I ignored it. Mello kissed along my jawline and I shuddered._ Damn. _My chest ached but I didn't care and Mello didn't seem to notice. He kissed my neck and my fingernails raked his back.


	8. Chapter 8: Maybe Not

My heart felt like it was collapsing and everything became too heavy to move. Mells clambered off of straddling my waist not-so-graciously and grabbed my shoulders.

"Matt, are you okay? Matt, can y'all even hear me? Oh God, Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Matt, what do I do?"

I couldn't move. I blinked a couple times and Mello pulled me gently into his arms. He was crying. I was stuck laying there like a broken doll. The bracelet Flicker had given me was beeping out of control. Mello's face was covered in tears. I opened my mouth a little bit.

"Bracelet slide."

Understanding dawned on Mello's face and he pulled the slide. He pushed the button and every muscle in my body felt relaxed. My heart didn't feel like it was collapsing. Mello was holding my like I was dying. I slowly picked my arms up off of the floor and wrapped them around him.

"It's my fault-"

"My fault. Not yours. No discussion." I said, keeping my voice soft.

Mello looked entirely ashamed of himself. He stood up and helped me get up. I swayed but stayed on my feet. He slipped one arm around my waist, using the other to drape my arm around his shoulders. I was leaning on him. He put me in bed and I grabbed onto his sleeve. I tugged and he rolled his eyes.

"You are such a child." He chuckled, climbing in next to me and pulling me to his chest.

I smiled and buried my face in Mello's chest. When I woke up from my dreamless sleep, I was tied to an all-too familiar wall. My bracelet was broken on the floor. Diamonds had a branding iron and an electrified bullwhip. Mello was tied to a chair, still unconscious. Diamonds nodded to Hearts and he tied a cloth gag so tight around my mouth my face hurt. Hearts held my head in place and I thrashed around to get out of his grip. Diamonds put the branding iron against Mello's face. It left a triangular burn. Mello screamed, even though he was unconscious.

"Leave him alone!" I screeched, trying to work the gag off of my face.

Diamonds didn't even look at me when he flicked the whip backwards and hit my eye. Electricity buzzed around in my head and there were red spots in my vision. I could barely see through my left eye and Mello had blood dripping down his face. He carved a little 'L' on the side of Mello's shoulder and Mello's eyes opened a little bit. He snapped them shut and Diamonds picked his chin up.

"I saw that."

Mells just spit in his face. Diamonds looked at him in disgust and threw him across the room. Mello hit the wall with a sickening cracking noise. The chair broke and Mello was slumped against the wall-unconscious or dead, I had no way of knowing. I was terrified. _How did they find us? Were we being followed? Or was it the plane tickets?_ I didn't have much time to think because pretty soon there was an electric buzz going through my skin. I coughed blood and glared at Diamonds with my one good eye.

"Oh, you're terrifying, up against a wall with nowhere to go. Glares won't do you much good, Paradox. You belong to _me. _Not the blonde man, not Flicker, nobody else but _me._" I heard Light drawl from the corner of the room.

He lightly took the bullwhip from Diamonds and made sure to get my face. By the end of it, my skin was in tatters and I could barely see. My left eye had gotten hit again by the bullwhip and my right eye had blood dripping into it. Mello was still unconscious, but Fox was bandaging all of his wounds, not looking at me. When she stood up, her eyes were full of sadness. She stared at me and covered her hands with her mouth. It was the second time she had seen me like this. I shook my head slightly, and she ran off, carrying Mello. _Damn she's a strong kid… Well I guess she'd have to be, living in a place like this. _Light traced what was left of my skin with his fingers.

"Did you think we would never find you? Answer me!" He dug his finger into one of the gashes on my chest.

I bit my lip and shook my head. He pulled out a knife and went to town on my shoulders. My vision blurred and I stopped struggling against the chains that bound me. Light noticed and grabbed my hair, forcing my head upwards to look at him.

"We aren't finished here. Hearts, get Fox down here to stop the bleeding. She may only stop the bleeding. Don't let her bind his wounds at all." Light walked away, cleaning my blood off of his hands and smiling.

Fox came running, her hands covered in blood from Mello's face. Hearts unlocked the cuffs on the wall and I tumbled forward. He ripped the gag off of my face and stood, watching Fox. Fox rushed to get under me and lowered me to the ground. She grabbed a huge gauze pad and pressed down on my chest. I stared at her.

"Will he be okay?"

Fox looked taken aback. "You're almost dead, but you're worried about a target-"

"He belongs to a syndicate in Texas. He was sent here to-" I broke off, coughing blood and retching.

She stared at me sadly. "He'll be fine, Paradox. You need to calm down or you're only going to get worse."

"I'm a dead man." I chuckled.

Fox smiled and shook her head. "Light won't kill you. He might be obsessive but he's not an idiot."

My chest finally stopped bleeding and she smiled. She opened my left eye and gasped. "Mail, I don't think you'll be able to see out of your left eye again."

Well, I was officially useless. Talking hurt so I just shrugged. She stopped the bleeding over my right eye and Hearts put me back on the wall. Light dismissed both of them and smiled. He put on a pair of spiked knuckles and beat the shit out of me. I whimpered and Light hit me harder. _Damn… I may be tough but I'm not this tough. _I glared at Light and he put a knife against my chin, drawing a thin trickle of blood. His face shifted in and out of focus. He traced the outline of my lips with the knife and dug his fingers into my sides. They broke skin, causing more blood to spill. I bit my already bleeding lip and Light put his eyes to mine.

"When I'm done with you, you'll do more than whimper."

Light smirked and plunged the knife into my shoulder. He turned around and picked up an assortment of throwing knives. Some of them were on fire, others electrically charged, and some were just normal knives. He threw the electrically charged knives at me first. I didn't have the energy to try to dodge as one of them put a hole in the cartilage of my ear, another landed right above my shorts, and the last one stuck into the side of my neck. I howled in pain and Light put the gag back into my mouth.

"Now, now, we can't have you howling just yet. We want your little _boyfriend_ to be awake."

I flinched and Light laughed. He threw the normal knives at me. Two of them hit my hands, going straight through them and sticking to the wall. The third one buried itself in my shoulder. The knives that were on fire weren't thrown at me. No doubt Light knew they would have gone out. Instead, he dragged one of them across my face and down my neck, leaving a pattern of thin burns. I screamed into the gag and he grinned. The knife went out and he just picked up another one. He slowly slid it into my waist. I worked the gag off of my face and spit at him. _Bad idea._ Light just smiled, wiped the spit off of his face, and grabbed the third burning knife. He traced over the whip marks with it, searing the wounds closed, but putting newer, deeper ones overtop of them. _Fuck. Shit, I'm going to pass out. _I watched my vision go red around the edges and blood trickled out of my left eye. I felt it run down my face. Light laughed and told Hearts, who had been in the corner, to get Fox and Mello, if he was awake. Hearts nodded and slipped out. Light pulled each knife out agonizingly slowly. _Too much damage… _My head lolled onto my chest and I felt my consciousness ebb away from me. I saw Mello and Fox come racing down the stairs. Light smirked and put a bullet through Mello's chest. Mello fell to the floor, but I didn't think he was dead. Fox sewed the wound closed and bandaged it, using my lighter to cauterize it. Light unlocked the cuffs around my wrists and let me fall onto the blood-covered floor.


	9. Chapter 9: Agony of Heart

_**Heads up, there's a lot of disgusting and sick things happening in this chapter. I was watching a horror movie when I was writing it, sorry!**_

_**~Axel.**_

"Paradox!" I heard Fox shout.

She knelt beside me and gently rolled me over, gasping when she saw my face. She carefully put pressure on my chest, trying not to get even more blood on the floor. Light stood next to Mello, who was tied to a chair, which was bolted on the floor. Mello was awake, even if just barely, and staring at me. I looked at him. The reflection of me in his eyes looked broken. I smiled at him, even though it hurt. He gave me a nervous smile back.

"Paradox, we have to get you out of here. He's going to kill you!" Fox kept her voice down, using the hole in my ear to whisper to me.

"Get… Mello… Out first." I whispered back.

Fox nodded, even though it was almost imperceptible. She stood up and wiped her hands on her pants. Her eyes looked sad and Light just gave her a sadistic grin. She dropped her eyes and left. Light snapped his fingers. Hearts and Diamonds chained me back onto the wall and pulled the chains so tight my arms were burning. Mello stared at me. Light pulled a dart gun and shot a heart with darts onto my chest. Blood welled up from each of the darts and I hissed. He snatched the darts, picked up the bullwhip, and flicked his wrist. It wrapped itself around my neck and I felt it squeeze. I choked and Light pulled the whip away. He smirked and made a figure-eight with his arm. The whip mimicked his motion in a painful, larger scale. _Since when was he fucking Indiana Jones?_ Light pulled his arm back and brought it down. The whip came down on my shoulders hard, and blood came flying out of the wound. I clenched my jaw, unwilling to scream, no matter how much pain he put me through. Light frowned and drove his fist into my ribcage. I heard cracking noises and made an 'oof' noise. Mello had a cloth tied in his mouth, making him look like a hostage. Hearts was holding his head in place, making sure he couldn't take his eyes off of what was happening. Light drove two fingers into my chest and I felt him stroke my heart. I shrieked and screamed in pain, immobilized for fear of accidentally killing myself. Light smiled at my reaction and drove a third finger right next to my heart. Blood was flowing down his arm, but he didn't care. I could barely breathe, I was so terrified. Light stuck his fist in my chest and I felt his fingers close around my heart. _This is it. I'm really going to die._ He squeezed gently and I lost control. I cried and howled. He didn't care and kept one hand on my heart, the other was on my now-tearstained face. I felt my heart race in his hand. He let go and smirked. He slowly pulled his hand out. It was covered in blood. My knees buckled and I was sure that if the chains hadn't been holding me up I would have been on the floor.

I looked at Mello. He had tears on his face and I could see him struggling to get the chains around his wrists off. I shook my head slightly. Light didn't notice. Mello stopped moving. I felt my heart working double time to replace the blood I was losing. It didn't hurt anymore. Light's smirk disappeared and he picked my head up by my hair. I felt his hand reach into my left eye and pull it out. He smiled and threw my eye behind him. He shot my legs and ended up breaking one of them. Mello looked like he was going to be sick. I coughed and blood came out of my mouth. It ran down my face and Light just laughed. He ran his hands along my chest, skirting the hole he himself had made. After a few minutes of my chest aching, it finally stopped. Light stuck his hand through my chest and it came out the other side. I stared at Mello, watched him cry. I was in too much pain to move, even to make a sound. Blood flew out of my mouth and landed all down Light's back.

"Now you see what happens to fuckers who desert me. Not that you're of any use now." Light snapped his blood-covered hands.

I looked at him through my eye. He was covered in my blood. Even his face had specks and droplets of blood on it. Hearts unchained my arms and carried me into the main room. Light called for everyone who was not on a job to gather there. He had a giant square of fabric on the floor. Even it was red. My eye scanned the room. Sharpshooter was being held in place by Armageddon and Doom. _That's actually kind of funny._ Clubs and Fox were frozen in place. Light walked in, in a fresh suit. His suit was blood red and he had cleaned up his face. He looked like nothing happened. He stood in the center of the cloth and Hearts put me at his feet. My arm sprawled out to the side. My other arm draped itself around my stomach. My leg was at an odd angle, and the other leg was straight. I could feel blood coming out of my chest.

"Look at Paradox. Don't avert your eyes."

I coughed, blood coming up. I drew in a painful, gurgling breath.

"You still lose." I rasped.

"What was that, Paradox? I still lose? It appears you are the one who loses."

"I got out. You lose."

Light's eyes filled with rage. I was making a public fool of him and he knew it. We both did.

"Why don't I show everyone what happens to people who leave?"

Without a moment's hesitation, he reached into my chest and pulled my heart to the surface. He ran his fingers over the surface of it and I screamed. Fox looked like she was going to be sick. Sharp was being held up by Doom and Armageddon. His face was pale. Clubs looked like he was going to throw up. Even Doom, who usually got off on this kind of sick shit, looked sick. Flip ran forward and fought through the front row onto the red cloth.

"Leave him alone! Stop it! _You're obsessed with keeping what's yours! Can't you see you're killing him?"_ Hearts kicked Flip and she crumpled to the ground with a crack.

Light put my heart back and dug around in my chest, making me scream. I tried to move, but Hearts came over and pinned my arms above my head. He chained my feet to the floor and Light smiled. He knew I was the only one who could see it. His knuckles brushed my lungs a couple times. My face was covered with blood from my chest and I could barely keep my eye open. I saw Mello being hauled out by Diamonds and he was thrown to Clubs, who caught him and held him up. I focused on him. Light didn't matter. I had to live through this for Mello. He looked like he was going to be sick and I couldn't blame him. My eye made contact with his and he locked on to my face. Light's fingers dug farther into my chest and my eyes squeezed shut with pain. Light grabbed onto my heart and whispered in my ear.

"_You will never see him again._"

Light's fingers around my heart didn't move. They didn't clench or tighten. He pulled something out and I felt him dig out my other eye. I heard Mello gasp and I clenched my jaw. There were still tears coming from my eye sockets. Light laughed and I felt his fingers massage my heart


	10. Chapter 10: Late

I went about three seconds before I screeched and the police kicked the door down.

"Nobody move!"

I couldn't see anything. I felt Light let go of my heart and pull his hand out of my chest. I felt someone heave me onto a gurney, then I heard Mello run after the gurney. I felt his hand in my blood-coated one. Someone was talking to him.

"-Found his eyes at the syndicate building. We should be able to give him his vision back, if we work quickly."

I felt them put a needle in my arm and then nothing. When I woke up, the darkness was gone. I could feel my eyes back in their sockets. I saw the outlines of people. Everything was in varying shades of gray. I could discern Mello next to me. I heard beeping and put a hand up to my face. I felt bandages. _So that's why it's gray… And that's why everything's only outlines._ I felt my heart beating in my chest. I could also tell I was laying down. My chest was covered in bandages, as were my hands. My leg was in a cast. I heard Mello wake up.

"Matt, are y'all awake?"

"Yeah, Mells. I'm awake." My voice sounded hoarse.

"I was so scared, when they told me your heart was in danger, I really thought I was going to lose you! I was so scared for your life, Matt. I c-can't lose you."

I tightened my grip on his fingers, not caring that it caused me pain. I could see Mello shaking. I put my hand on his shoulder and felt my way up to his chin. I still couldn't see very well.

"I'm right here. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere."

I heard doctors come in and felt them change my bandages. They asked me questions like 'can you still feel your hands and feet?'. I answered them all and they carefully unwrapped my eyes, telling me to keep them closed. I did as I was told and they fully unwrapped my head. I hadn't noticed the gauze over the burns on my face. I wondered just how much of me was covered by gauze and bandages. They turned the lights off and told me to open my eyes. There was a dim light coming through the window. My eyes watered and flared with pain.

"My eyes hurt."

"Can you see?"

"I can see a little. I can see shapes and light."

"Close your eyes."

I shut my eyes and they bandaged over the pads covering them again. Mello was still sitting next to me. I felt him let go of my hand and get up. When he came back, he seemed to be happier. His fingers interlocked with mine. I smiled and I couldn't tell if he smiled. I heard crutches on the floor and knew it was Flip. She sat down. I felt her flick my head and laughed. Her crutches clattered to the floor and she picked them up, mumbling something along the lines of 'I'm going to fucking kill that bastard if the police don't beat me to it'. Mello laughed and put her crutches in between the bed and the wall. Flip called someone and they ran into the hospital room. I heard crying.

"P-Paradox, are you okay? Flip told me you were awake-"

"Sharp, is that you? C'mere. I can't see."

The man I thought was Sharp put something in my hand. In an instant I knew it was him and I smiled. I heard the sound of someone sitting on the floor.

"What's the damage?"

"Scarring and permanent vision damage in the long-term. Giant gaping hole in his chest, blindness due to bandaging, a broken leg, flesh in tatters, an bullet wounds in his hands short-term." I heard Mello recite.

My chest throbbed and I grimaced. I drew a shaky breath and Flip squeezed my hand reassuringly. I heard two people come running into the room. One of them was crying. The other was barefoot. I felt someone lock their fingers in the hand that Mello wasn't holding. Their hands were small. _Is it Fox and Clubs?_

"Mail, we were scared! I thought he was going to kill you, I really did-"

"Fox, let the man rest. He's been through far too much for you to keep him awake with your constant chattering."

I laughed. "I really don't mind. It's not like I'm doing anything. But, I should be for the most part fine. My fingers still feel like someone stuck them in an outlet, but I guess it can't be helped."

"The police were asking questions about what we did for a living. Light told them that we were pulled off of the streets and forced to kill innocents. He's covering our asses and taking full responsibility. Well, Hearts and Diamonds are still going to prison for life. But, as Light was caught with his hand in your chest, he's getting the chair." Clubs said, his voice full of sadness and worry.

"Why do you sound sad?"

"He might be a murderous asshole, but he also happens to be my brother. I don't always approve of what he does, but he's family. And family gets sad when family is about to be executed."

"I'm sorry if I don't seem empathetic. The guy did try to kill me."

"Never said you had to be sad, 'Dox."

I laughed and Clubs laughed. Fox hiccupped and laughed. Someone came in and ushered everyone out. I fell asleep and woke up to blackness again. My chest felt like it was on fire and I whimpered. I was alone. Nobody was sitting with me. The fire spread to my eyes and I yelled in pain. I heard lots of footsteps and felt people holding my shoulders and head down. They peeled the bandages off of my face and opened my eyes. The lights were off and opening my eyes hurt. I snapped my eyes shut and groaned. They put the pads back onto my eyes and I felt blood trickling out of my chest. They unwrapped my chest and I felt them sedate me. Everything went away and when I woke up, my eyes were still covered and my chest felt normal. I couldn't feel any bandages on anything other than my face.

"How long have I been-"

"Almost two years. Your chest opened again and you almost died. They said you'd never wake up."

I put a hand up to my eyes.

"Your vision was permanently damaged. They haven't been able to ask you if you were in pain because you were in a coma, so they left your eyes covered."

Doctors came running in, taking my pulse, asking me questions, and giving me a headache. One of them started unwrapping my eyes and I started. She kept unwinding the gauze and pulled the pads off. She carefully helped me open my eyes. At first, the room was bright and it hurt. I closed my eyes and let them adjust to the light behind my eyelids. I slowly opened them. They stung a little, but I thought that was because they hadn't been open in two years. She put her hand like a visor over my eyes and they stopped aching. I sighed and she ticked something off on her clip board. She shined a light in my eyes and I closed them. She moved the light. I couldn't focus on anything. Everything was blurry and too bright. I couldn't see across the room.

"Are you feeling dizzy or disoriented?"

"No, but everything's out of focus and really bright."

"Can you see my fingers?" She asked, holding up two fingers and moving them back.

"Yeah."

"Now?" She moved her arm further back, out of my field of vision.

"No."

She nodded to herself and made a note on her infernal clipboard.

"Hypersensitivity to light isn't uncommon with coma patients, but nearsightedness is highly uncommon. Your nearsightedness is probably due to your… injury." She was clearly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, it's my first day-"

"It's okay. Everyone has to get nervous sometimes." I smiled.

A teardrop of blood came out of the corner of my eye and she opened my eye. I could feel a tear and she could probably see it. She nodded to herself and put the pad on one of my eyes. She wrapped it up again and shrugged.

"I don't know how that got there, but there it is. Just be careful, okay?"

"Yep."

I was let out of the hospital a few days later. Mells and I rented his old apartment and it turned out that Flip and Turntable lived across the hall. Turntable was a member of another syndicate in New York. Her eyes were blue and her hair was dyed bright purple. Mells was careful around the apartment. I couldn't see very well, and I usually ended up running into things. Flip came over and helped Mello clean the apartment. She picked up trash from the hard-to-reach places with her crutches.


	11. Chapter 11: Electric Buzz

_**Heads up, I have never been anywhere near a prison, nor have I witnessed someone actually get the electric chair first-hand. All of what you see here is based off of movies and television shows, as well as books I've read…**_

_**HoNk.**_

_**~Axel~**_

Mello was making dinner in the kitchen, and I was leaning up against the wall, trying not to move. My legs were aching from disuse and bending them hurt. I heard him set down plates and call my name. I took one step and fell over. I picked myself up off of the floor and lost track of the wall. My eye was still covered and I didn't really care. It wasn't as if I could see out of it anyway. I heard Mello come running into the hall. I felt him loop his arm around my waist and help me get into the kitchen. I buried my face in my hands and Mello just put his hand on my shoulder. We stood up and he helped me get back up the damn stairs. We had an apartment that had four steps up to the bedrooms for some dumb reason. In all honesty, it just made it harder to move around the apartment. I got changed into pajamas and fell asleep wrapped up in Mello's arms. Nothing bad had happened since Light's trial, and Hearts and Diamonds were sentenced to life in prison. Clubs was right, Light was due to be executed tomorrow. I was going to be there, and Mello was going to stay there with me. When we woke up in the morning, we both put on our "Sunday best" (aka a pair of black pants, a white(or in my case, red) collared shirt, and a suit jacket) and got in the car. Mells drove, since I was no longer allowed to drive. When we got there, Clubs and Fox were both wearing black. Fox had a black dress on that was knee-length, and Clubs was wearing a black suit. Fox was sitting on the sidewalk near the entry to the prison. I looked up and flinched, remembering just who was inside. Mello squeezed my hand reassuringly. Clubs was just staring at the barbed wire.

"No use standing around. Let's go inside."

We went inside, were met by a hell of a lot of security guards, and ended up on one side of a room that was split in half by a wall of glass. I made a mental note of the way the floor looked, knowing that I wasn't going to be able to watch Light fry. There were very few people that were there that weren't in the syndicate. Some people were smiling, some were crying, and some weren't even looking at the chair. I was just staring in disbelief. This was it. I was finally going to be free. It was almost unreal. I watched them bring Light out, read his charges, and strap him to the chair. I buried my face in Mello's shoulder and Mello wrapped his arms around mine, almost as if trying to block out everything. I heard Light screaming, then a sickening noise, and then nothing. I found myself shaking. Clubs and Fox both had their eyes covered, knees drawn up to their chests, and tears running down their faces. Other members of the syndicate came over to offer their condolences, but they weren't heartfelt nor sincere. I didn't move until Mello told me that Light was gone and we had to leave. I got up, numb, and let Mells guide me to the car. We drove home and I was just staring out the window with my good eye. My left eye was closed behind my goggles. Nobody had asked about them, and I never had to give any answers. I closed my eye and fell asleep in the car. When I woke up, it was night time and I was on the couch. Mello had made dinner. I shrugged it off and went to bed early. Mello had apparently put the leftovers in the fridge because when I opened it around five in the morning, there was a note on top of a Tupperware container. Mello was asleep on the sofa.

_Didn't want to wake you up. Here's some leftovers from dinner._

_~Mells. _

I put the container back in the fridge and sighed. I picked Mello up, put him on my back, and carefully made my way back to bed. He was smiling in his sleep. _It must be nice, not having to adjust to a huge change in your life… _I sighed and collapsed onto the bed. I just sat there and stared into the dark. Eventually I fell asleep.

_Everything was dark. I was standing alone in the middle of what I could only assume was a dark room. I heard the clicking of footsteps and a soft chuckling noise. I looked around and then I was pinned. My arms were above my head and something was keeping me from moving. I felt hands- ice cold, cruel, and stone dead- all over my body. Ice hands mixed with hot breath. I screamed, trying to get them away from me. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was different, but still terrifying. My heart sped up and my breath quickened. I could see the faint outline of a face-_

"Matt!"

"_**Get away from me!**__"_

"Matt!"

I awoke to a stabbing pain in my chest and Mello's hand on my shoulder. _So that's what it was… _I covered my face with my hands. Mello wrapped his arms around me.

"Are y'all all right?"

"Had a nightmare…"

Mello shushed me and I heard a knock on the door, followed by the sound of a certain someone yelling. Mello stood up, put a shirt on, and answered the door. I heard a Texan accent and a female voice and stood up. My goggles were on the night stand but I didn't really care. She had seen me worse. I slowly made my way into the hall. Her blonde hair was as long as it was before, only it was braided in a straight plat down her back.

"Flicker?"


	12. Chapter 12: Cut to the Chase

_**I am so sorry for the lack of updates! Jeez I need to stop writing my "book" ((it's what I'm hoping it turns out to be, I've been working like crazy and I'm barely even started… That's what I guess happens when I type it on my phone)) and write more for you guys! Wow, you guys have stuck with me and my sucky updates for eleven chapters now… Thank you so much! I edited the sixth chapter and changed "teenager" to "woman" for Flicker, so it fits my plot.**_

_**HoNk  
~Flight**_

"I just thought I'd come up to see how y'all were doin', and to pay my respects to an old friend o' mine." I hadn't noticed before, but Flicker's eyes were red-rimmed and she was wearing a short black dress. She flipped her braid over her shoulder and adjusted her Stetson so it cast her eyes in shadows.

"You were payin' respects to that asshole, Flicker?" Mello scowled.

Flicker looked at the floor. She closed her eyes and I put a hand on her shoulder. She brushed it off. "Y'all know that ain't my real name, anyhow. And Mihael, Jake ain't it either. I'll leave y'all to figure it out. But Matt, I remember y'all when you were just a lil thang. Yer sister, too."

And with that, Flicker left. Mello followed her out the door. I ran into my bedroom (that wasn't slept in often) and lifted the floorboard next to my desk. I reached in and pulled out a dusty photo album. I walked back into the living room and sat on the couch, flipping through it. There was a picture of me after my sister's funeral, with the caption _"__**I can't believe it… She's really gone**__._" _If Flicker knew my sister and I when we were little, that means that it's before we even got into the syndicate…_ I flicked backwards and looked at a picture of my sister and I, with someone else's handwriting under it. _**My lil darlings. **_I kept flipping. Until there was a picture of my nine year old self with no caption but _**Goodbye**_ under it was the same handwriting. I snapped the book shut and threw it across the room. I buried my face in my hands and shook slightly. I heard Mello walk in and he put his hands on my shoulders.

"What's wrong?"

I pointed to the album. Mello opened it and flipped through its pages. He pointed to a picture of my sister, my mother, and I.

"That looks an awful lot like the pittures that hang 'round my old syndicate buildin'. Y'all don't think that your ma moved to Texas-"

"Look at her face, Mello. Just look at her face."

I heard him gasp and drop the album. "But that's-"

"Flicker, I know."

Mello pulled out his cell phone and dialed a phone number. After a few minutes of dialing and hanging up, he finally got an answer.

"Where are y'all? Git back here!"

The sound that came through the telephone was rushed and quiet. Mello had the phone on speaker.

"Mells y'all know I always love to hear yer angry voice once y'all figured summat out but I have to go now I'll be over in a bit partner."

Flicker hung up with a click. Mello got up, snatched his coat, and ran out the door. I chased after him.

"Dammit Mells explain what's going on!?"

"Flicker's in trouble."

We both got into the car and drove around town until we saw Flicker, gun drawn and hiding around the corner. Mello ushered her into the car and she dove onto the floor. Her jacket had small bloodstains on it and she was breathing heavily.

"Flicker what the fu-"

"Shut it! If they hear you, we're all dead, Mail!" Flicker snapped.

Her eyes, however, weren't scared, they were more relieved. Her face was pale and her hair was more brown than when I saw her in Texas. I hadn't had a good look at her before, but now that she was in the backseat…

I recognized her from somewhere. All of my memory suddenly had flown away and I couldn't remember from where. She smiled at me. Her smile was warm, kind… Like my mother's. She had a bullwhip identical to Light's looped through her belt loops. Mello slammed his foot onto the pedal suddenly and Flicker groaned. He turned to go to the hospital.

"Don't ya feckin' dare take me to the hospital, Mihael Keehl!"

Mello jumped and instead turned onto our street. We helped Flicker into the apartment and eased her onto the couch. The bloodstains on her jacket were nothing compared to the ones blossoming on her white shirt. Mello grabbed gauze pads and medical tape from the cabinet and carefully dressed Flicker's wounds. She sat up. I dropped the photo album on her lap.

"Explain. Now."

She brushed a few strands of hair from her face. "Ya were… five, right? Light's boys were after me, if I remember correctly… Though, they woulda been Soichiro's boys back then, or maybe Sayu's. Don't remember. Anyway, someone from the Corps was after me. I'd been shot at before, and I'd shot at people before. Life ain't without enemies. I got threatening letters. Letters that threatened ya an' yer sister if I didn't get the feck outta town. So I left. I bought a plane ticket to Texas and bolted. Joined a syndicate there. Watched that boss die. Inherited the syndicate."

"But didn't you see this coming, then, if you-"

"I saw it comin, yeah. I gave ya the choice I always gave ya. To make up yer own damn mind. I wasn't havin anyone hurt my children. Especially not after losin' my husband to the feckin' Corps. No way, no how. An' I have no intentions of lettin' anyone hurt my babies now. Although, I guess there's only one left…" Flicker broke off, tears falling from her eyes.

"Mam… Why didn't you take us with you?"

"I told ya. I let ya make up yer own damn mind. I asked ya. I said, "want ter go on an adventure, Mail," an' you said-"

"No way, Mam."

"Damn right ya did. Yer sister wouldn't have understood if I asked her, so I didn't. I disappeared after that. Changed my name. I made sure they couldn't find me."

"So your name is actually, what, then?"

"Gwyn. Gwyn Jeevas, at yer service. So, Mail, any questions fer me? Any choice words?"

"Why didn't you ignore what I said, mam?"

"I wanted ya ter be an independent son… Got what I wanted, in the end, though I am sorry 'bout how it happened. Besides, what woman wants a son who can't decide where he wants ter be?"

Mello shook his head and left. "I want to know why you didn't take her with you. Why you left her behind."

"Ah, I knew ya would ask about that. Ya never knew, Matt, but it's near impossible to hide a child. Thought it would be best if she stayed with ya. Ya think I don't regret leavin' every day? Ya think I don't hear yer sister screamin' an' see ya just starin' at me?"

"No, mam, I don't."

My mom's bandages had turned red. They were soaked through. Her face paled even more. A number of police kicked my door in.

"Goodbye, son." My mom closed her eyes and I heard her stop breathing.

"Gwyn Jeevas, you are under arrest for the murder of over six hundred civilians."

"Useless now, officer." I snapped.

"What?!"

"Can't you see that she's dead?"

The officer felt her neck for a pulse. When he didn't find one, he snatched her wrist. He swore under his breath. Mello burst through the bedroom door.

"Exactly what the feck are y'all tryin' ter pull?!"

"Are you Mihael Keehl?"

"If I am, what's it ter ya?"

"You're under arrest for the murder of over two hundred civilians. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." The officer handcuffed Mello's hands and he swore.

I watched them cart my mother off on a gurney, the sheet pulled up over her head. Mello was forced into a police car, silent as the grave. The officers apologized for breaking my door, expressed their condolences about my mother and about Mello, then left. I would later receive compensation for the damage done to my home. Flip and Turntable sold their apartment and moved to California. Sharp and Clubs moved to Oklahoma. Fox moved in with me. We were constantly moving. I never stayed in the same place too long. Call it an old habit, but both of us felt like we were being chased.

Turns out, we were.


End file.
